Lately I've been wrestling with my "faith" in established political and social institutions and beliefs. I think the impetus for these struggles is the mission trip to Mongolia drawing ever so near and news of Iraqi prisoner abuse at the hands of American and British forces. Writing about politics may be a touchy subject because we all have some form of opinion on prevalent matters such as war, abortion, gay rights, etc. so if I offend anyone with my views then I offer my sincere apologies in advance.
I was a bit saddened when I read that some Iraqi ex-POWs claimed that prison guards coerced them to renounce their religion by eating pork, cursing their god and even making one thank Jesus that he was alive. I thought about how I have often heard people tell me that they don't believe in a god(s) because so much bloodshed has been spilled in the name of religion. To some of these people, our idea of religion is merely semantics for some political or ideological agenda.
It's true that many wars are chronicled in the Old Testament. I recently read 1 Kings Chapter 18 where Elijah commands a group of people who profess their faith to the God of Israel to kill the 450 prophets of Baal after a showdown over the sacrifice of bulls.
Historical stories like this make me wonder whether the abuses that took place in the prison camps are similar to some of these stories in the OT where people are beaten and killed because of a conflicting religious belief. Suddenly I go back to the foundations of my belief and wonder why I believe some of the things I do.
I attended a very conservative Baptist high school and spent time around some faculty members who were very public and forward about their beliefs. Generally, the political affiliations were Republican meaning they were pro-life when it came to abortion, against gay marriage and for continuing prayer in public schools that were debating whether or not to remove it. Whether or not I wanted to agree with their beliefs, there was an invariable pressure to conform to their thinking or be more open towards considering their viewpoints. I even found myself reading some books from Rush Limbaugh.
Fast forward to now and I find that some of these beliefs have stayed with me. I believed that we had a duty to help the people of Iraq because of the persecution and murder of the people there who opposed the ruling party or simply did not please them (for example the Olympic athletes who were killed or tortured). But as the casualty toll rises almost daily and the high-tech war of cruise guided missiles and tanks has degenerated into urban guerrilla combat and suicide bombers, the price of this "freedom" for the Iraqi people no longer seems worth it. Then there is the lingering sentiment that this war (like Desert Storm) is all about oil to deal with. And now the Iraqi prisoner abuse and, worse yet, some perverted in the name of Jesus. So it has been hard to believe in this duty to help the persecuted and oppressed when it seems like we're merely trading bad with bad.
Outside of the war, the recent recognition of gay marriages in Massachusetts and San Francisco has made me consider the plight of homosexuals towards believing in the God of Israel. Maybe it is just me, but it seems as if homosexuality is a taboo sin given more weight by the Christian community. Then there's the difficult debate on whether or not homosexuality is merely a choice or rather an inclination resulting from neurological or other psychological factors that some are just disposed to by birth. I've run across a fair number of Christians who will say that it is clear from the Bible that God opposes homosexuality. While they may even acknowledge that neurological and psychological factors from birth play a role, they will continue to say that such genetic disposition does not matter because God's commands are the final authority. And I don't think there is anything wrong with their position. After all, they are merely standing on their faith in God and the Bible as the final authority.
I can only imagine how a non-Christian would feel about all this though. What's gnawing at me is perhaps the desire to be able to have the "right" answers to make God real, but it seems that the best I can come up with is, "I don't know." I do know that homosexuals need God just as much as heterosexuals do, but out of these words I only find a half-baked feeling of solace. Perhaps "faith" in political institutions and beliefs cannot influence a Christian's faith in God for they are measured by what is seen and heard.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.“ Hebrews 11:1-2
I read John 6:25-40 tonight and I thought about how my life has become so seemingly complicated that I may have difficulty relating to others when sharing the gospel in Mongolia or even locally. I went to visit a Christ-centered community for developmentally disabled people tonight and found that only a small percentage of residents there attend church on Sundays. The home is split into two sections- one home has twelve clients who require at least one 24-hour staff person to be available and another has twenty one residents who are able to live and perform their daily duties independently. S.U. and I left our meeting there with a sense of excitement at the opportunities for the small groups to get involved in a long-term service project commitment to adopt this community and perhaps integrating this with the GEMS ministry at church.
After reading the passage, I had some doubts as to whether we could honestly relate to the residents there. Sure we may do our best at engaging in conversations, coordinating games, leading basic Bible studies, watching movies with them, etc., but if one of them were to say to me something along the lines of, "You have never been in my shoes before and don't have the slightest clue as to how difficult my life has been and yet you want me to believe that God will bring me joy?", I would have to agree and resign myself to a deep level of sympathy and feeling of injustice.
Often times the standard responses I hear from other Christians are:
1) You have to believe that God is just and deals with everyone accordingly
2) Who are we (like Job) to question God
3) God's glory works through the lives of people in different ways
And yet somehow I can sense how these explanations may leave analytical non-Christians with a lot more to be desired.
Can the desire to be met at and understood at an everyday level first create barriers for even the non-developmentally disabled such as me? How often have we wanted others to know what was going on in our daily life? Xanga and other online journals clearly serve this need. I think some of us may also do it in subtle ways. For example, I have to say that I am a bit amused by how some people remain logged onto their instant messenger 24/7, but update their status throughout the course of the day. For example you could see something like: "gone to the ballpark", "studying for finals", "Halo tournament", "Vegas Baby!", etc. Perhaps these frequent updates serve as a veneer to broadcast to others a desire to be understood and known.
In the passages of John we come across the situation where Jesus has performed the miracle of feeding 5000 people the day before and then crosses to the other side of the lake that night. A crowd searches after Him the next day and asks for more miraculous signs so that they may believe that He is indeed the promised Savior. The feeding of the previous day now serves as a portrait for Jesus to illustrate that even people of His day had basic needs that hindered them from seeing a greater spiritual need.
So for me this means that I may need to use a common denominator in ministry- a basic need that we all have as an entry point. And so I argue that besides food and water, we all have an inherent need to be known and understood. Not even to the point where we need others to experience what we have gone through, but rather that others acknowledge our pain and don't offer any pretense about being able to truly empathize or understand. And maybe all I will be able to tell such people I come across is that I'm sorry I don't know their trials and pain, but I do know that God knows...
Hmmmm...never posted anything on this type of site before...BLOG. I've learned about blog awhile back while flipping through the TV channels. I came across the high tech channel and they were talking about blogs. I thought it was quite interesting, but wasn't sure how it works. Is it kind of like a diary? Or more of like message posting? In any case, through this site I hope/will post updates regarding my mission trip before, during and after.
There are much preparation before going to Mongolia. Chun and I are in charge of putting together English lesson plans for the two weeks we're in Mongolia. I don't have the slightest ideas as to how, what to teach? Thanks to Tom and Nancy Lin, theyve sent us some guidelines, though, I'm still lost. I guess that's the sweet part, to try to figure out how and what to teach. I pray that God will guide Chun and I in this preparation.